The Path Ahead
by Rhysand-vs-Fenrys
Summary: For Elide, it is the end of her virginity. For Lorcan, it's the last 'first time' he ever wants to have. Both are nervous about the evening to come, but neither would change it for the world. ***This does NOT include spoilers for "Kingdom of Ash"


**The Path Ahead**

It was the most important day of Lorcan Salvaterre's life, and he thought he was going to be sick.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror and willed the male he saw there to look better. Oily black eyes stared back at him from a harsh, sun-charred face. His slate-black hair was clean, but despite his every effort it hung limp.

Lorcan lived with the Cadre for centuries, he probably knew Rowan's grooming habits better than Aelin did, but he could never figure out how Whitethorn made his hair look so alive. The bastard washed with the same soap they all had and left his hair to drip-dry without any special fuss, so why was Lorcan's so different?

He resisted punching the mirror- barely. On a day like today he didn't need it to show him _him_ , he needed it to show him someone more worthy of what was to come.

Nervous energy coursed through his veins, despite most of a day spent in the sparring ring. Half of Terrasen's army was bruised and bleeding thanks to him, but he still felt electricity crackling inside.

Battle was easier than facing what was now minutes away. With Erilea at peace, he wasn't likely to get a war anytime soon.

Lorcan gave up on the problem that was his hair and sniffed at his armpits. He detected a faint whiff of nervous sweat. In an instant his clothes were on the floor and he was headed for the washbasin. He didn't have time for a third bath, but he could at least use a cloth to wipe away the offending odor.

 _What the fuck is wrong with you?!_ He wanted to go back and scream at that male in the mirror, _You can't even bathe yourself now? Do you want Elide to laugh at us?_

Elide- even the thought of her made his blood cold. Something twisted in his gut, and Lorcan wondered if he needed to go to the bathroom again.

 _I should send someone to tell her I'm sick._

 _I'm probably sick._

 _Or- a headache! She'll want to see me if she thinks I'm sick. A migraine might work- one bad enough that even her presence would be overbearing._

 _Can fae get migraines?_ Lorcan ran through the history of every member of the Cadre. He couldn't remember suddenly if his own damned species was capable of getting more than a stress headache.

 _Sick. It has to be sick. Shit! Can we even get sick? Why can't I remember?!_

His brain was going at a hundred miles per second trying to figure out a way to escape what was coming. His heart, however, was already halfway to Elide's chambers. Lorcan knew which of the two he hoped would win out, even as he rinsed the last traces of soap from his underarms and threw on his fourth fresh shirt in the last hour.

A distant clock tower struck the hour and Lorcan felt the ground give way beneath him.

He never thought he'd miss war, but if the Witch Kingdom suddenly rose up to conquer the world, Lorcan would thank them before strapping his sword on once more.

 _You're supposed to be the grown-up!_ He hissed at himself as he caught sight of his pale face in the mirror again. There was no reason to be so damned nervous.

Lorcan wrenched open the door to his chambers-

* * *

A wordless roar echoed from some distant part of the keep and Elide jumped.

"Watch it!" Lysandra snapped. She was applying kohl liner to the girl's eyes. The shout wasn't the first thing to set off the Lady of Perranth, "You're jumping at every passing footstep, _relax_."

"Easy for you to say!" Elide squeaked, but she tried to obey her friend.

 _Relax? What sort of advice is that at a time like this?!_

Her friend set down the thin kohl brush and crossed her arms, "Do you want me to go tell Lorcan you're sick?"

"Yes." When Lysandra turned, Elide panicked and grabbed her arm, "No!"

"What are you scared of?" she sat down on a low bench beside Elide's massive four-poster bed. The bed of a Lady- one far too opulent for someone raised on a tower floor.

Elide tried to sort through the churning in her stomach, "Doing something wrong."

"We talked through everything, do we need to go over it again?" Lys said.

"No, but… what if I don't do it… well?"

"You won't," a helpful voice called from the sitting room. "Everyone's shit their first time."

 _First time._

That was the part that made Elide want to face an entire legion of Morath's armies once more. She and Lorcan had been fairly intimate since the fighting ended only four months ago. Once- just for the hell of it- Lorcan spent an entire evening with Elide in his arms and his mouth crushed against hers. He never pushed her for anything, and while his large hands roamed over her body, her clothes were always in the way.

A month ago, after Elide worked up the courage, she informed him that she'd decided she was ready for more. For- for a bit more intimacy. Not just kissing and cuddling but to take the next step. Not that- not that she thought they needed to change their relationship to keep it growing strong but if he wanted to she'd be willing to- not that she didn't want that as well, far from it-

Somehow through her bumbling, increasingly incoherent rambling Lorcan got the message: Elide was ready for sex.

It was Lorcan who set the date one month out, to give her a chance to prepare herself mentally so that she didn't turn into a blushing mess at even the thought of asking him to make love to her. In his opinion Elide's greatest quality was her confidence, and seeing her so _unconfident_ at the prospect of intimacy warned him that the idea hadn't quite settled into her heart just yet.

For that month's delay, she would love him forever.

Every day over the first week she'd combed through the library of Orynth, looking for anything she could find to tell her what to do or how to do it. Halfway through a pile of smutty romance novels, Elide was kidnapped by Aelin and Lysandra. The duo pulled her into a library alcove and answered every question she could think to ask.

In an instant, they became Elide's lifeline. Lingerie was a rare commodity on the war-ravaged continent, but Aelin showed her where to go to have hair removed from delicate places. Lysandra talked Elide through every detail of what would happen during the act itself and how to care for her own wellbeing in the process.

Given her history, Elide assumed that sex would be a delicate topic for the former courtesan, but to Lysandra the act of sharing her knowledge was cathartic in a strange way. She wasn't passing tips on to another flesh-slave for the perverted underbelly of Rifthold to ravage. Elide was a girl she cared about, and what darkness granted Lysandra she would use to preserve her innocence.

Girl… that was how both Aelin and Lysandra saw Elide. A child to advise and inform. Lysandra was nearly two years Elide's senior and though Aelin was only one year older, that year might as well have been a hundred. The Lady of Perranth spent a decade imprisoned in a tower with only her nursemaid for company, but the other two- they spent those ten years in a bitter, brutal fight for survival.

They'd lived. She'd… stagnated.

Elide had none of their experience in life or in romance. Lorcan was her first crush, her first love, her first kiss, her first- well, everything. She didn't doubt the scale of her feelings for him one moment, but… it would have been easier to face Lorcan that first time with _some_ experience. He was more than five-hundred years old, Elide didn't want to be- as Aelin had just put it- 'shit' her first time.

"You know it isn't all on you, right?" Lysandra squeezed Elide's shoulder. When her friend didn't respond, Lysandra offered up one last piece of herself that she'd held back during their discussions, "When Arobynn- when he was feeling particularly magnanimous he wouldn't just use me, he'd teach me how to-" she swallowed hard.

She lived hand-in-hand with those memories, but the further she got from that life, the sharper they became. Once upon a time they were just facts of her past, ones Lysandra could face openly. Now- now she was gaining an appreciation for just how much she'd lost. She was envious of the gift fate granted Elide: for her first night to be with someone gentle and loving.

Elide reached out and squeezed Lysandra's hand. She didn't know what to say to comfort her- remind her that she now had a male who loved and respected her? Tell her all that evil was in the past?

It was Aelin's voice from the sitting room that gave Lysandra what she needed to breathe again, "He choked to death on his own blood. It was slow, painful, and brutal. You cut his vocal chords so he couldn't make a sound and watched him drown. It was beautiful."

 _Beautiful_ , the word sent a shiver through Elide. The life Aelin had lived was cruel enough that she could describe a man's death as 'beautiful'.

But Lysandra drew a long breath and her throat cleared, "Lorcan will walk you through it. He has experience, he'll know how to help you find your way."

A knock sounded at the door, setting Elide's heart racing. Aelin went to open it while Lysandra quickly put final touches on the girl's makeup and tried desperately not to think of the way Clarissa had painted _her_ before the Bidding. She had been a lamb offered up in bloody sacrifice. Elide was going through a rite of passage that Lysandra was denied.

"I stole this from Emrys in the hallway," a male voice explained as a serving cart rolled in. The voice was younger, softer than Lorcan's. He must have passed the cart over to his cousin because a heartbeat later Aedion was walking into Elide's bedroom. He took a single glance at Lysandra's face and came to her side, "I had a feeling I was needed." Ignoring Elide for the moment, Aedion put a hand on Lysandra's back. She turned and wrapped her arms around him, holding him close and breathing in his scent.

"I'm sorry," Elide said quietly.

Lysandra reached a hand out blindly towards the girl, and Elide took it. She turned her head on Aedion's shoulder so that she could see her, "Don't be. It's fine."

Aedion released her and gave Elide an apologetic smile, "Sorry for barging in but, um- Lorcan's outside." He and Aedion had been glaring at one another when Emrys approached with the food.

Even as her blood froze, Elide was grateful for Aedion's words. Lysandra's skin was blanched of color, and if anything it was an excuse for her to leave. She would probably spend the night sitting in one of Orynth's gardens with Aedion- her prize at the end of so much ugliness.

Elide stood and gave her friend a hug goodbye. She followed both of them into the sitting room, where Aelin flashed her a wolfish grin, "You're going to wonder what all the fuss was about. I'll see you when you two surface for air."

Aedion walked Lysandra to the door. When he opened it for her, Lorcan was indeed standing there.

"If you hurt her, I'll gut you and leave you in pieces across the city." Lysandra's voice was breathless as she stuck a finger in Lorcan's face.

Normally he would bristle at her words, but he could see silver lining the shifter's eyes. He nodded and accepted her threat gracefully.

"I'll cut your cock off before she starts," Aelin said pleasantly as she followed her friends out. "Have a good night, Elide!"

As they departed Elide noticed something in the hall- a trail of red rose petals leading off in the direction of-

"They go all the way to my chambers," Lorcan grumbled as he entered the room.

"I didn't think Fenrys was actually going to do it." Aelin whistled and kicked the door closed.

 _So that's where the roar came from_.

Her cheeks heated, did the entire castle know what they were planning to do?

Lorcan closed the door, blocking any traces of the offending flowers. When he turned back to Elide-

She suddenly forgot those silly fears that ate away at her confidence. She wanted it- she wanted _him_ \- and she was never more sure of anything in her entire life.

"You look beautiful," Lorcan said. He allowed the gruff and standoffish persona to melt away, revealing the kind, awkward male she'd fallen in love with.

Elide's hair was braided and twisted into a knot at the back of her head. Aelin had given her a small assortment of jewel-topped pins to hook in here and there, like stars shining in the black. Lysandra's makeup was thin- a hint of liner around the eyes, a dab of blush to her cheeks to hide the pallor her nerves cast, and a light stain of rouge to emphasize her lips. Gold dust on her eyelids brought out the light in her dark eyes.

For the first time since Aelin's coronation Elide wore a full gown. Pale blue silk and white lace- with as high a neckline as possible. It was the dress of a shy, quiet lady. In her nerves the bare hint of cleavage it showed felt daring, but in their day-to-day Lysandra and Aelin wore more revealing clothes. Still, for a girl who almost never wore a proper dress, anything more would have looked ridiculous.

With her starry hair and shimmering eyes, Lorcan hardly even noticed her clothes.

She blushed at his gaze, and suddenly Elide didn't know what to do with her hands or even where to look. Her heart ached at even the scent of Lorcan's soap filling the air. His obsidian eyes made her knees wobble and she bit down the urge to run her fingers through his soft, perfect hair.

Words would never be enough to express how much she wanted to be with Lorcan. It was just that she _also_ wanted to jump ahead to the next morning, after all the whole awkward business was done with.

"I sent- oh, you got them." Lorcan glanced to an embarrassingly large bouquet of flowers sitting on her side table.

"Yes, they were delivered earlier," since when was it _this difficult_ to speak to him?

He glanced around the room, looking for something to talk about, "Are you hungry?"

 _No._

"Yes." Elide glanced to the serving cart Aedion had brought in. Aelin already set the covered platters of food onto a table lit by a row of small candles. Elide hadn't touched anything more than a few bites of fruit all day, but nerves filled her stomach well enough.

Lorcan stepped across the room to her slowly. He didn't take Elide's hand or kiss her in greeting as he normally would- he just followed her to her chair and pulled it out for her. The sound of her skirts whispering against the floors was the most erotic thing Lorcan had ever heard- and the most terrifying.

 _She's too good for me. She's too good for me. She's too good for me. She's too good for me._

The mantra played over and over as Lorcan took the covers off the various dishes and deposited them on the serving cart. It would have been bad enough if Elide was in her now-usual trousers and linen blouse, or even wearing the simple servant's dress she'd favored once upon a time. But like this-

 _She's too good for me. She's too good for me. She's too good for me. She's too good for me._

Elide and Lorcan didn't speak as they dutifully ate their food. A month- they'd planned this a _month_ out so that both had time to prepare themselves and begin their new regimen of contraceptive brew. He was nothing close to a virgin, so what the hell was so frightening?

Maybe it was because even the food didn't give him a break from the doubts and worried swirling in his mind.

Lorcan was the one who placed the order with the kitchens. It was a simple meal- glazed salmon on a bed of spiced quinoa. Figs, chocolate-dipped strawberries, and roasted pumpkin seeds were portioned out on the dessert plate. All fairly light foods, all with a practical benefit for the night's planned activity.

At the time it was a quiet, erotic gesture. Now it was just embarrassing.

Elide didn't know the meaning behind the meal, but as he sheepishly ate his food and she hers, Lorcan couldn't help but tick through the information. The salmon was good for both of them, but it would help him stay hard longer- as would the pumpkin seeds for dessert. Quinoa was the best form of protein he'd come across in his years as a warrior- it digested slowly and would grant them the energy to last almost to dawn. Figs for extra fiber (and they were one of Elide's favorite fruits). As for the chocolate strawberries- well, that was sort of a traditional fare for the occasion.

Lorcan's ears were scarlet as they ate their food- not that either tasted the meal. Every bite Elide took his treacherous brain ticked off as ' _Another ten minutes in bed_ '. To drink they had whatever wine the cellar-manager chose, Lorcan regretted that they had to share the bottle.

 _She_ was eating like a normal person, Lorcan knew if anyone was responsible for the awkward atmosphere, it was him. Elide was quiet, yes, but she looked like she was casually enjoying her food. _He_ was wallowing in nerves that were sure to drench him in sweat. She was calm, cool, and collected.

Lorcan did the only thing he could think of- he tried to curse his nerves away.

 _You fucking moron, it's_ Elide's _first time, not yours! Why the hell are you so nervous?_

Because if things went the way he hoped, it would be the last first time Lorcan ever had.

In apology for his own idiocy, Lorcan reached out across the table and took Elide's free hand. He didn't say anything, but he ran a thumb across the back of her skin. It was the first time he'd touched her all day- all week, in fact.

To Elide, it was something else entirely.

She ate in quiet misery across from Lorcan's stoic grace. He was focused on his food as he ate, like any _normal_ person. Elide tasted only ash as she forced the meal down, too scared to meet Lorcan's eyes, and too much of a fidgeting mess to hide her nerves. Every movement was too fast or too slow. Every bite of food was a war to not eat too much too quickly.

When Lorcan reached out and gently took his hand in hers, she almost came apart completely. Not at the way his touch made her heart pound, but knowing that he was taking her hand to stop her twitching fingers from drumming on the table.

Still- the warmth of his hand cast aside some of her fear, and her soft skin eased his racing heart.

This was right- and it was time to move their relationship forward into that terrifying, exhilarating physical realm.

Finally eating warm, proper food helped clear both of their minds, settle their stomachs, and chased away a bit of the tremor in their joined hands. Fear and hunger no longer feasted on one another- Elide understood why Lysandra and Aelin had practically shoved that fruit down her throat earlier.

By the time her plate was clear, Elide felt brave enough to attempt conversation, "I'm more nervous than I thought I'd be."

"Really?" Lorcan was surprised by the hope that crept into his voice, "I… I would never have guessed." He couldn't admit to her that he was completely terrified. He was the one with experience, if he lost his nerve what would happen to Elide's?

She took a long sip of wine before speaking again, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" If she wanted to postpone or somehow limit the scope of that night, Lorcan wouldn't fault her one bit. Maybe going all-in was too much at once. He'd never so much as touched Elide's breast without her shirt in the way-

 _Oh gods, now I'm thinking about her breasts._

"For… well, I'm sure it's going to take some time for me to learn how to do… anything… right." She mumbled the last part into her glass.

Lorcan couldn't let his fear show, but- "Do you want to take things slower? We can ease into it over a few days or even weeks. Maybe tonight we just try-" _touching each other beneath the clothes_. He couldn't make the words cross his lips.

"I want to do it tonight," Elide said quickly. Then, because she was suddenly unsure, "Do- do _you_ want to-?"

"I do."

And that was it. He was terrified and shy, but he wanted this. He was in no way worthy of the gift she was giving him, but Lorcan wanted it more than anything in his entire existence. Not the sex- well, not _just_ the sex- but what the joining represented. The next phase. A step closer to marriage, if Elide continued to settle for him.

 _Marriage._ He wanted to marry her. It was why he was so scared- sex had never meant marriage to him before, and he certainly had never minded casual liaisons, but Elide was different. She was the miracle he didn't deserve.

Five hundred years- he'd walked the earth for more than half a millennia, and every step of that journey was towards Elide Lochan. He wanted to make a family with her, to watch her grow older and more beautiful with every passing day. He wanted to bind his immortal life to her on a wedding altar and restart the clock that had been paused for far, far too long.

A mortal life with Elide, even if he still looked young when they went to their graves together. The most beautiful vision of heaven Lorcan could imagine- and even though they'd walked the path towards it together for months already, that night they would step through the first gate.

He wasn't scared. He was excited.

Hope and certainty filled Lorcan's eyes- filled his entire body. Elide could almost feel it coursing from his hand to hers and pushed away the fear around her heart. She'd wished she had experience going into their first time together so that she could be something more than just an awkward nineteen year-old, but at the same time she wouldn't trade this for the world.

Finnula was her only friend and teacher, and while she was relatively vague the few times Elide had asked about sex she did say something that stuck in the girl's head- _your first stays with you forever_.

Aelin had echoed the sentiment as she and Lysandra answered Elide's questions in the library. For Aelin, Chaol's memory would live on long after he faded. For Lysandra… hopefully Aedion would chase away that darkness in time.

Elide already knew she would remember Lorcan forever, no matter what happened. He was the first male she'd ever loved, and even after he betrayed Aelin to Maeve on that beach- he'd found a way to earn her forgiveness. She never put much stake in stories of women who bound themselves to the first man who caught their eye but- but with Lorcan it was the perfect path to take. Yes, time changed everyone, but she could think of nothing more beautiful than to grow and let that change bring them closer together.

If this memory was to last forever, then let it be a memory of the male she loved and trusted with every fiber of her being. Without releasing Lorcan's hand, Elide stood and came to his side of the table. He pushed his chair back so that she could sit on his lap.

"Okay?" Elide asked.

Lorcan swallowed, "Okay."

She leaned in and hesitated, not sure how to begin.

So Lorcan began for her.

He rested a hand on her knee and lightly caressed it through her dress as he lifted his head to Elide's mouth and brushed her lips with his own. Her forehead met his and they shared a few shuddering breaths before he tipped forward again and gave her a chaste kiss. She nuzzled him a moment after their lips broke then, slowly, Elide's tongue found its way to the seam of Lorcan's mouth.

That part wasn't new to either of them. It was a dance they'd perfected over hours. The rhythm was an easy one to fall into- the brush of Lorcan's lips, the shy probing of her tongue against his- it was a slow, sweet waltz that left both feeling wholly fulfilled and utterly empty at the same time. A promise of more that was never granted- at least not yet.

Today, they had one another's permission to advance.

Lorcan's hand left Elide's as he reached up to cup her cheek. She shifted in his lap, inching closer so that she could feel his broad, warm chest against hers, even if the pesky fabric of their clothes was in the way. Her fingers tangled in Lorcan's soft black hair and Elide smiled against his lips. Her nerves melted away like snow in springtime as Lorcan nipped at her lip and she found herself laughing. There was excitement in the absence of fear- a buzzing anticipation of what was about to happen.

Lorcan felt the love and grace shining through Elide as his lips left hers to trail kisses along her jaw to the delicate curve of her neck. Her head tipped to the side as Lorcan licked and nibbled at her skin. Her breathing hitched and he felt a shift in her hips as she clenched her thighs.

She whimpered, and he took that as permission to move forward.

Every instinct in his body screamed for him to shove away their dinner dishes and have her there and then on the table, but the male who commanded those instincts instead slid his hand from Elide's knee down her leg. His mouth returned to hers to reassure and comfort her as Lorcan's fingers pulled the fabric of her skirts up until he found his way to her bare skin.

His touch featherlight and slow, he inched higher and higher. Elide returned every kiss with gusto, but her entire focus was on those fingers. Once they crossed above her knee- there. No male had ever touched her leg so far up. Not even the healer Yrene had sent to examine Elide's ankle and begin preparing her for the re-breaking that would fix the damage at long last.

Lorcan's touch didn't slide to the inside of her thigh. This first touch was important in sending Elide a message- he knew anxiety was waiting only a breath away, and he would take this as slowly as she needed him to. So while his fingers itched to slide into the heat between her legs, he settled for her hip. An intimate touch to be certain, but nothing too dramatic.

Elide's skin burned where his hand rested; now when she shook it was from the need that coursed through her. She had to touch him, she needed to feel his skin against hers. She released Lorcan's head and pulled at his shirt. He untangled himself from her skirts only long enough to remove the garment before his hand returned to its position.

Nothing was new about the hard muscle or tanned skin of Lorcan's chest. When Elide stuttered through her proposal for sex she was laying on her bed with her arms wrapped around Lorcan's bare torso. She loved the feeling of his back straining as she kissed him, the muscles hard and taught as he crushed her to his chest.

Lorcan broke their kiss and rested a moment with his forehead against Elide's. One deep breath. Another. Finally, when he remembered how to speak, he whispered against her lips, "Bedroom?"

He could feel the shiver that went through her body, but her heart raced only a little faster. She bit her lip and nodded, but the hands against his back dug in harder. Lorcan didn't pull his hand from her skirt, but he adjusted his grip on her body so that when he stood, she came with him. As she shifted in his arms his little finger brushed against something warm, wet, and soft.

She focused on his ear as Lorcan carried her into the bedroom. Kissing and nibbling at his lobes made shivers wrack his body and- if she scraped her teeth just right-

Lorcan flinched away from her and barked a laugh, "Half my head itches now, thanks."

Elide's breathless laugh was almost his undoing. Sunlight and warmth given voice. A miracle. No matter how much he tried to find another way to describe her, that was the only word that seemed to fit. She was an absolute miracle.

At the edge of the bed, Elide fidgeted in his arms, just enough that Lorcan set her down. When his hand left her bare thigh and the dress fell back into place- somehow she felt colder. She turned away from Lorcan and waited.

It didn't take much for him to figure out what precisely she was waiting _for_.

Lorcan's right hand slid down her arm until he found hers. It would be more difficult to undo the laces of her gown with just one, but she needed something to hold like a totem against the anxiety that was binding her lungs and draining away her confidence.

This was the part Elide dreaded more than anything else. The part that nearly made her cancel the evening. He could feel her skin going cold and clammy as he undid the silk bow at her hips and began unlacing the ribbon that bound her in.

Lorcan had seen Elide eyeing the fae females who inhabited Orynth- studying every toned muscle and narrow waistline. Yrene gave her a list of exercises to build her own muscle mass without straining her ankle, but it didn't seem to be doing anything- or at least not yet.

Elide's entire life she'd been starved. Even after she was free there was rarely more than a single small meal available in a given day. Since the defeat of Erawan and Maeve she had a chance to actually enjoy proper nutrition. The hard angles and boney projections she was accustomed to filled into a form Lysandra and Aelin reassured her was _normal_ \- but it was soft skin, not the steel muscle of either female or those fae Elide spied on.

As the laces of her bodice eased, Elide's fear grew. Lorcan had been with such beautiful females, would he find her body lacking? Would he be disappointed?

When he was halfway up her back- when the front of the bodice began to sag ever so slightly, she shivered again and Lorcan stopped. "I'll take it off in the bed," Elide murmured. She made to pull away from him- to slide beneath the covers where he might never see her skin.

"Please?" Lorcan held her fast by the laces of the dress and the hand wrapped around hers. He would release her if she asked, but he wanted the chance to reassure her, "Let me do this?"

She shuddered, but forced herself to stand still. Lorcan felt her tremble as the fabric loosened further. He released her hand to pin the front of the dress against her as the ribbon at last came free and the dress sagged.

Elide clutched his hand to her chest, unwilling to lose her final scrap of modesty. She wanted to do this with the confidence he loved so much, but fear paralyzed her.

Lorcan waited for a sign of what she wanted. Take control and pull the dress away, or let her hide beneath the covers first? She managed to force her hands to tug at his. There was hardly enough force to make him budge, but he got the message. Lorcan broke her hold on his hand and pulled the fabric down until it fell into a blue heap around her feet.

Her hands quickly covered her breasts. Elide shook as Lorcan stepped back to take in the sight of her body from behind. She was hardly breathing as he ran a warm hand down her spine, traced the dimples at her hips and slowly- agonizingly slowly- stepped around to look at her wholly exposed.

Black eyes drank in the exposed curve of her breasts, and it was a titanic effort for Elide to lower her arms so that he could see them. With her black hair and eyes Lorcan always thought she would have wine-dark areolas, but they were as pink as the blush on her cheeks. He brushed a thumb across her peaked nipple and suddenly-

-salt. The scent of salt filled his nostrils. Lorcan looked up at Elide's face and saw a tear drip down her cheek. She was scared, so scared of what he might think. Maybe if he'd made the night a more thrilling affair- taken her on a trip, a picnic, _something_ \- she wouldn't be so scared now. They'd put sex at the forefront of their plans and arranged everything around only that. There was nothing to distract her from her worries, and nerves ate her alive as a result.

" _Beautiful_ ," Lorcan breathed. "You're beautiful."

Elide took a long, shuddering breath as he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. He pressed her chest against his and held her tight. He was careful of her pinned hair as he patted the back of her head and tried to ignore the soft breasts against his chest. Lorcan's needs didn't matter at the moment, just Elide's.

He was so scared of what she might think of _his_ appearance and _his_ form that he hadn't even considered the woman might be frightened of the same damn thing. "If you want to do this beneath the covers, that's alright," Lorcan murmured into her hair. "But please believe me- you have nothing at all to hide." He would learn every inch of her body by touch and tongue if need be, and let his eyes starve if it meant that Elide was comfortable.

A bit of warmth was creeping back into her skin as the fear eased. He tipped her chin up until she looked into his eyes and read the love therein. "You're beautiful," he whispered again, and Elide could see that he meant it with his entire heart. No disappointment or pity for her nerves, no shame at the teenage fears that devoured her.

She walked around him to the bed. His eyes were like a brand on her spine as she climbed onto the mattress. Lorcan watched Elide as she sat on the comforter and- if only because it was the most terrifying thing she could imagine- slowly spread her knees and showed him what he hadn't dare look at before.

Close-cut dark hair.

A split in the gentle roll of her mound.

The barest glimmer of skin that escaped from the folds.

Now it was Lorcan who wasn't breathing, and suddenly Elide didn't feel small and scared, but mighty and powerful. A five hundred year old warrior who'd walked in blood and death, who'd served a demon queen faithfully every step of the way-

-and she was the mortal girl who'd been his undoing. Elide Lochan, the escaped slave of Morath and usurped Lady of Perranth, had taken him apart piece by piece until all that remained was the male behind that dark armor. A kind soul starved to death for warmth and light- something she was all too happy to grant him.

With her legs spread and her heart racing, she offered the ancient fae the one thing he never expected: trust.

Lorcan stumbled forward towards her. Elide crawled back further on the bed, giving him room as his knees hit the mattress and he pulled himself forward to lay on his stomach. Powerful arms wrapped around her legs as he rested his nose against the curve of her body and parted her with the broad stroke of his tongue. He moaned at the taste of her- a taste he'd dreamt of for far too long. Tangy and sweet, Lorcan couldn't get enough of it at once.

Death given flesh. A brutal, wild fae soldier drenched with more blood than Elide could ever understand- and yet he was devouring her as if nothing in all the world tasted sweeter. Her heart beat faster at the sight of him between her legs, at the force of his mouth against a spot that even his hand had never been. His tongue circled her entrance and stroked against the thin, hard skin at the back.

Elide fell onto the pillows with a gasp as her spine arched.

Once Lorcan knew that spot made her squirm, he lavished attention on it. His tongue slid in further- probing, pushing, searching for _more_. She couldn't begin to understand the strength of him, or the way it made her core shudder and pulse. Her hands found their way into his hair and she felt Lorcan grin against her.

His tongue vanished from inside her and Lorcan's hands parted her folds directly. Elide shouted her surprise as he quickly sucked at the knot between her legs, then pushed it down with his tongue. The sensation sent shockwaves through her legs and back, through her breasts and along her spine. It was nothing like when she touched herself at night, this was something stronger.

Elide realized at that moment that she wasn't prepared at all for what was coming. She'd braced for fear and maybe even some awkward touches, not for the raw pleasure a well-trained male could draw forth.

Lorcan released one of her legs and forced himself away from her knot just long enough to wet his little finger. The Lady of Perranth looked on with wide eyes as he slid his pinky around her opening. The next time Lorcan leaned forward to lick Elide, he pushed his finger in.

The hands on his head tightened, pulling his hair as she clenched her thighs. The sensation was incredible, and coupled with the sight of Lorcan's lust-glazed eyes, wholly overwhelming. She was on the brink of climax- a word she once knew the meaning of, but now wasn't so sure about. She knew how it felt under her own ministrations, but _Lorcan's_ -

He turned and bit her thigh, breaking the rising wave that very nearly crested. Elide flinched away from his teeth and released his head in an instant with a squeal of surprise. Before she could snap at him he slid up her body and wrapped his teeth around her breast. As he nipped at the point of her nipple he pushed two fingers into her and rested his palm against her knot.

" _Lorcan!_ "

She was dizzy with the sensations coursing through her body. His fingers swirling and stroking inside, the white-hot jolts of pleasure from his palm against her core, the moist heat of his mouth on her breast- it was all too new and too overwhelming to process. She kicked her legs and Lorcan used his body to pin one, keeping her open as her hips began to roll up into his touch.

Elide was shaking with every pump of his fingers and bite of his teeth. She rode his hand more brazenly than she would ever have believed and he moaned in time with her. His length was still trapped by the linen of his pants but it didn't matter- the slick warmth between Elide's legs made him twitch and pulse with pleasure.

So gently that she might not have even noticed, Lorcan swirled his fingers in widening arcs. He kept his pace slow and measured to stave off her release, but also keep her body relaxed and responsive to his touch. Bit by bit he was preparing her for that final joining. Worrying about that was his burden though, he wanted Elide's mind burning in pure ecstasy the whole way.

 _How long can I keep her pinned on the edge before she begs me for release?_

 _No._

Lorcan's mind found its way back as Elide arched her back and cried out in frustration- he'd moved his hand to deny her relief. That wasn't how he wanted this to go. Not her first time. He wouldn't make her beg. Those games could wait for another day. Elide was so scared when he saw her naked body, Lorcan wanted her to feel as in-control as possible.

He pressed his palm against her mound once more, took a nipple into his mouth, and increased the speed of the fingers moving inside her.

Elide grabbed Lorcan's shoulder with one hand and the rapidly moving wrist with the other. She held both as she shifted his arm to one side, moving his fingers where she so desperately needed them. Lorcan didn't stop as her muscles began to stiffen and her breathing tensed. Shivers wracked her body, her hips rose up off the bed into his waiting palm. She was trusting him to give her what she needed as her mind slipped beyond thought of anything but the incredible feelings washing through her.

He shifted to bite at the underside of her breast, and Elide erupted.

Lorcan thought she'd be quiet as she came. She spent most of her life in a tower with an old lady, if she touched herself she had to be silent. But Elide was contrary to all expectations. She screamed as her hips began to buck and her one free leg thrashed. Her back arched off the bed, everything in her curling towards the fingers he pushed against her quaking walls. Lorcan watched his miracle as her eyes went wide and she learned a newer, stronger kind of orgasm than she'd ever imagined.

When the tension snapped and Elide went limp, Lorcan let her pull his hand away. She was sweat-slick and shook with every throb of her knot. Elide watched him with wide, wondering eyes as he brought his hand up to his mouth and licked her juices off of his fingers.

She was still watching him as he crawled back off the bed and kicked off his shoes.

He barely drew breath as he undid the clasp of his pants and pushed them down along with his underclothes.

Elide wasn't the only one allowed to be nervous about her body.

Lorcan wasn't the only one who stared at their lover and whispered, " _Beautiful_."

He grinned and returned to the bed to kneel across from Elide. Lorcan sat back on his heels as she crawled forward. Her gaze was focused exclusively on his member, and the shy blush that was turning her ears red- after what he'd just done to her it only brightened his smile.

Elide was so beautifully innocent that it made his heart ache.

 _Marry me_. He wanted to say the words more than anything else but- not now. So much care went into planning their first evening together, he wanted to spend at least as long planning the perfect engagement.

But Gods-above, he would start the _moment_ he left her chambers.

Lorcan swallowed as a delicate hand reached out- then hesitated an inch from his cock. Elide couldn't decide where to touch it- the base? The shaft? The head? What was the procedure?

Any advice Lysandra gave her went straight out of her head now that she was confronted with the real thing. While Elide died of embarrassment over and over again, Lysandra had given her a zucchini and demonstrated how to stroke- or lick- a male. Those lessons didn't prepare her for the sight of a real cock. It would be easy to hurt Lorcan with the wrong touch.

Sensing she had hit another wall, Lorcan reached out and pulled her hand closer. He brushed the backs of her knuckles against his shaft. Elide gasped at the contact- the skin was so much softer than she'd ever imagined. He smiled and turned her palm so that he could rest is cock against itt, on display for her inspection.

Lorcan leaned back as she came to life. Elide kept him in her palm while she reached up and poked the head of his cock. She didn't dare touch it for more than a second, but once she saw that her touch hadn't broken or maimed it, she slid her finger along the slope of the exposed head, marveling at the silky flesh.

He cursed as she stroked the slit in his cockhead with a fingernail. Elide was about to ask if he was alright- but something at the tip caught her eye. A glistening drop of something clear. She was transfixed by it, and slowly her hand wrapped around Lorcan's shaft.

Elide pulled ever so slightly- just enough to shift the thin layer of skin around the steel of his member. Lorcan bit back his grin as she watched the drop of clear precum, then frowned when she realized it wasn't getting bigger.

"What's so funny?" Elide snapped when she felt his stifled laughter.

"It's not a marshmallow," Lorcan wrapped his hand around Elide's and squeezed until she had a proper grip on him, "you won't squish it."

"I'm _learning_ ," she growled.

"And you're doing a wonderful job, I'm very proud of you." Lorcan couldn't help but smile. He released her hand and she began stroking him again immediately- this time with a firmness that made his breath catch.

He rubbed her back as she encouraged more clear liquid to gather on the tip of his cock. Elide was too nervous to try taking it in her mouth, but she at least wanted to give him something in thanks for what his hand made her feel. When the drop grew too large, Elide swiped her palm across it. It stuck to her, and she quickly returned her hand to Lorcan's length. The precum made him slick- her hand began to slide across the skin, not just tug it along.

Lorcan groaned and soon enough there was another drop of liquid for Elide to catch and spread.

"Don't worry about tasting it right now," he murmured as he pulled Elide's head closer to his cock. He didn't want her to think he was trying to push her down onto his member. "I just wanted this-"

She shivered as he helped her adjust her hips so that they were over his head. Soft breasts tickled his stomach, the perfect position for each to get an eyeful of what they wanted. Perhaps when Elide was braver they could use it to bring one another to climax using only tongue and teeth, but for now it allowed him to play with her while she stroked his member.

Elide's body had settled somewhat after his touch left her, so he quickly wet two fingers and worked them back in. This time his touch wasn't to bring her to climax, but to prepare her for what might come next- if she still wanted it. Bit by bit he slid them in, enjoying the whimper it drew from Elide and the way her body sagged towards his touch, silently begging for more.

 _How is it that when I use my fingers it just feels okay, but his are like fire?_ Elide's eyes grew heavy as Lorcan's hand entered her. The feeling was more intense than any she'd ever experienced before, and she wondered if he felt the same about her hands on him. Just in case he did, she began to twist her hand around his length- a lesson of Lysandra's that Elide could finally remember.

Lorcan fell back onto the bed with a groan- where the hell did she learn that? It was over a year since anyone but Lorcan took his cock in hand- an eternity for a male. Elide was growing braver as she got used to the heat in her palm- soon enough she was kneeling over Lorcan's head and using the fingertips of her other hand to tickle his shaft.

He cursed at the incredible sensation- and the view. When he parted her folds, his grin only grew more predatory.

She whimpered and with every tug on his member, he slid his fingers in and out of her. As she moved quicker, he picked up his own pace. When she squeezed his length tighter, he scraped her walls with the hard pads of his fingers.

Elide pushed herself back onto his hand to force him in deeper and deeper. She was soaked, and her juices began to drip down Lorcan's hand to his wrist where he happily lapped them up.

"Stop!" Elide squeaked as his fingertips brushed something ridged deep inside her. Lorcan felt her walls spasm even as he pulled his hand away and tipped forward to trail light, apologetic kisses on her thighs for whatever sin he'd committed. Disappointment curled in his stomach- he wanted to give her an orgasm with that special button, but to continue would be a violation of her trust in him.

Elide moved away from his face and released Lorcan's now-slick member. She looked down at the wetness on her own hand a moment and then-

Lorcan's growl of approval as she touched tongue to palm made her shiver. She was curious- Lysandra and Aelin talked about the taste of their mates, but she wasn't fae (or whatever a shifter counted as). Elide didn't have a biological attraction to every aspect of Lorcan's scent. The taste… it wasn't necessarily _bad_ , but it wasn't something she would crave. Salty and tangy- what one might call the male version of the sharp-sweet scent that lingered on her fingertips after she made herself climax.

She crawled up to the head of the bed and settled across the pillows with just enough pallor seeping through the blush to indicate her intentions. Lorcan sat up, his eyes heavy and lust-glazed, "Do you want me to clean up first?" Her juices on his cheeks and chin from earlier. Her taste in his mouth. Lorcan wasn't sure Elide would enjoy it as much as he did.

Elide shook her head and reached out for him.

Obedient to a fault, Lorcan advanced.

Her legs parted as he crawled up the length of her body, and Elide's eyes grew wide as he approached. He passed her mound, her stomach, her breasts- as his cock brushed against her mound Elide seized Lorcan's lips with her own.

She didn't taste herself- not like she thought she would. It had faded from Lorcan's tongue already, and whatever traces remained were lost in the crush of his mouth against hers. He was holding himself back too much and Lorcan's control was slipping. The kisses he offered now were deep and unyielding, not gentle or soft.

Good. She didn't particularly want soft.

Elide pulled Lorcan down until their naked bodies were pressed together. His arms wrapped around her shoulders and she held him tight. It was as if they'd been custom made for one another- a fit so beautiful and perfect it had to be some divine construct. Lysandra and Aelin said that the joining would feel as if she and Lorcan fuzed together, but Elide couldn't even imagine it..

Lorcan's mouth against hers, their ragged breaths mingling, his length splitting her lower lips as she ground against him- how could it possibly get better?

" _Now_ ," Elide whispered. Lorcan made himself push back to study her face- to make sure she knew what she was saying. "Now."

He nodded, breathing hard. Elide reached between them and- with shaking fingers- held herself open. Lorcan angled his cock.

The first touch of him against her entrance made her jump. He sat up entirely and rested his knees beneath her thighs, opening her more completely. Lorcan watched Elide's frightened eyes as he gently stroked her entrance with the tip of his length and rubbed the knot above it in soft swirls.

When she felt safe and her core relaxed, Lorcan pushed forward. Elide covered her face at the pressure- how could it feel so different than when his fingers were inside her? Those felt massive, and they weren't even a quarter what his cock would be!

"Elide," Lorcan ground his teeth. The tip of his cock was in, but even though he'd stopped pushing he knew he couldn't go any further, "I need you to try and relax." If she couldn't fight through her fear he wouldn't be able to press on.

She nodded, hands still over her face, and bit by bit he felt her willing the muscles to unclench. Lorcan slid in and out only a few centimeters, showing her there was no threat. When she was comfortable, and when he felt the resistance easing, he pushed a little bit further.

Elide whimpered at the strange new feeling- it wasn't physically possible for her to take him, it couldn't be! She heard Lorcan's murmurs of " _Relax_ " and tried to force her muscles to go limp, but it was a war Elide wasn't sure she could win.

He leaned over her and tried kissing Elide to distract her, but she was always braced for the pain of her maidenhead ripping away. The most Lorcan could fit in was about a fifth of his length. The longer it took, the more ways he tried to coax her fear away, the worse Elide felt.

She wouldn't be able to do it, and it was all because of her nerves. She could barely take the head of his cock, the whole thing was impossible in her state. They'd have to do this entire night again and she would have to endure the shame and embarrassment of admitting to Lorcan she wasn't physically able- not yet at least.

Telling Lorcan she was ready to give up-

 _Maybe I'll just crawl under my bed and never come back out._

Lorcan stopped trying to push himself in. He stopped kissing her neck and playing with her knot, but he didn't slide himself from her, "Tell me what's bothering you."

"I don't know," Elide whispered.

"What are you afraid of?" She shook her head and a tear slipped down the side of her cheek. It broke Lorcan's heart, "Are you afraid of me?"

Again, she shook her head.

"Are you afraid of the pain?" She didn't say or do anything, but another tear dripped down. Lorcan reached out and brushed both away. He didn't need to tell her that her ankle likely hurt more even in that moment than losing her maidenhead would. Elide was probably telling herself that to force her body to relax.

"I'm sorry," Elide murmured.

"You don't _ever_ have to be sorry for something like this. Not with me."

"It's stupid to be scared of- of that." Flesh ripping, blood pouring out onto the red comforter. She could only imagine the agony as Lorcan pumped in and out of her and soaked the wound with salt and sweat. What if it became infected? Elide would die of embarrassment explaining _that_ to a healer.

Of course, Lysandra told her over and over again that- if Lorcan proceeded slowly- all she would feel was the barest of pinches.

"You're not stupid," Lorcan gave her a sympathetic smile. "But- Elide?"

"What?"

He rocked forward and managed to slip an entire inch in. Elide shouted in fear and panic. Her walls- which had eased their grip slightly as they talked- clamped back down.

She swung for him with a snarl.

"I was just making sure!"

"Making sure of _what_?!" She felt far too full and he was just _lucky_ he didn't hit her maidenhead and rip through it. If he had, she'd kill him.

"Elide, before my execution can I just show you something?" He waited for the wrath in her eyes to flicker before looking down at his cock. Once Elide followed his gaze he wrapped a hand around the base of his shaft- right up against her entrance- and eased back until just the tip of his cock connected them.

"So? A whole three inches. Great, that's the number to beat," betrayal burned in her eyes. She was embarrassed enough, but now she felt like he was mocking her.

"Three inches," Lorcan repeated it. "Didn't Lysandra and Aelin tell you anything?" He knew she went to those two terrors for advice.

Elide picked through the information they'd given her.

When her breath hitched, Lorcan knew he was forgiven. Wide eyes met his and Elide looked down between them at his cock- still in hand. She grabbed his wrist and pulled it towards her. Lorcan entered her slowly, right up to where his hand was. Elide tugged at his wrist and he slid in even further.

Three inches- he should have been well through her maidenhead by then. Transfixed, Elide watched as Lorcan rocked slowly inside her, slipping deeper and deeper as she throbbed with pleasure.

Her body went slack as hope pushed nerves aside once and for all, leaving her giddy. In minutes Lorcan was seated to the hilt- with only the discomfort of being freshly filled to mark his entry. As he stilled and let her acclimate, even that faded away.

"I looked when I had you straddle my face," Lorcan let his weight settle against Elide's hips. He propped himself up on his elbows to nuzzle her. "You didn't have any maidenhead left to take. It probably happened when we went looking for Aelin. You and I had to ride horses to keep up with Gavriel and Rowan. Do you remember the saddle hurting?"

Of course she did. The first few weeks were pure agony- her back and hips ached day and night whether or not she was on it. That saddle was a torture device, no matter how much padding Lorcan conspired to give a then-hostile Elide. She couldn't even walk properly when they made camp or walked into a town searching for news of Aelin's whereabouts.

Lorcan grinned, "The way you stretch your legs to sit on the saddle- it broke your maidenhead down until there was nothing left."

"Why didn't you say something?" She'd been so scared.

"I didn't think that was what you were scared of," he answered honestly. The whole thing was new and overwhelming- he thought she was just frightened in general.

"No pain?" Her heart forgave Lorcan in an instant. Had she really feared so much for nothing?

"No pain."

It was underwhelming- in the best way possible.

She couldn't stop herself from smiling, even when she punched Lorcan's shoulder, "I still hate you."

"I bet I can earn some forgiveness," his grin made her heart burn. Lorcan slid back. Elide's body tensed as that _thing_ inside her moved- but she didn't clamp down on him as she had initially. She couldn't breathe as it shifted, shivers wracked her body from the bizarre sensation. Lorcan just smiled, flicked her knot, and pushed all the way back in.

Every move was measured and patient, until Elide's back arched and she gasped with every thrust. The strangeness of him moving inside her ebbed quickly, in its place a delicious fire burned.

As smooth as his shaft was, she didn't expect to feel too much when he was inside her- just slick pressure, but she was wrong about that too. Every hard ridge, the vein along the top of his cock- they made her toes curl and her hips roll in time with Lorcan's.

She was utterly lost in the wonderous new sensations coursing through her body, and his smile only grew brighter.

Sharp breaths turned into soft panting.

Then a wonderful, high whimper.

Next a moan, followed soon after by shuddering gasps.

Her lips parted as the feelings overwhelmed her senses and desperate cries punctuated each thrust. Elide dared wrap her legs around Lorcan's hips, driving him in at a new angle. She only got louder.

Lorcan gave enough thought to the legs at his hips to reinforce the brace around Elide's bad ankle. He wanted to show her one more glorious thing, and didn't want her to injure herself in the process. She was close- so close, now was the time.

He lowered himself without breaking the pace of his thrusts and brushed his lips against her flushed chest. Elide's back arched ever higher. She was grinding harder against his pelvis, but the angle gave him perfect access to her breasts. One of Lorcan's hands vanished from the mattress as he stroked her thigh and slowly reached between them.

When his lips closed around her nipple, his thumb pressed into her knot.

Elide came undone.

Her walls crushed him as she began to shake and claw at his skin. Her first shout was strangled and Lorcan drove himself in harder, faster, " _Don't try to fight it_." He didn't want her quiet and demure, he wanted her deafening. Elide held part of herself back every step of the way, and now he wanted to hear her lose control entirely.

So she did.

Hands clawed at the sheets, hips bucked against his, and each time he pulled out she used the legs wrapped around his hips to force him back in harder. Elide couldn't get enough of the electric wave that swept through her body, but that didn't mean she wanted to just give up and let it pass. She wanted more in every sense of the word.

Lorcan put his weight back onto his knees and lifted Elide's hips. He abandoned her breast to drive himself in hard at a sharper angle, until his cock wasn't just brushing against the innermost bundles of nerves, but slamming into them. Elide screamed anew as that wave suddenly doubled in magnitude.

He could hardly hear her anymore. Blood rushed in Lorcan's ears and the male gave control wholly to the primal fae at his back. His female was screaming for him, her body was burning around him, and the tight slickness of her- it was meant to be enjoyed _thoroughly_.

Instead of just pushing against her knot, Lorcan pressed his whole palm onto it. While he thrust harder he slowly swirled his hand- giving her body two different points of pleasure and two very different paces to follow.

Was it just one orgasm, or two?

Elide couldn't even draw breath let alone scream. Her entire body became the palm on her knot and the cock moving inside her. There was no feeling beyond those two points. Her hips strained and shook, her entire body vibrated with an almost painful electricity.

Then the heat came.

Lorcan shouted at the first splash that escaped his cock. He gasped and cried at all the ones that followed. His movements slowed as he erupted over and over again inside her, and the primal beast in command didn't care that his lover had fallen silent, or that she quivered at every thrust of his hips.

Soon the blinding wave began to ebb, and with it so too did the heat from his member. Lorcan's head cleared as the last little bursts of release shot into Elide. When the hardness began to ease, he was back in command of himself.

He slid wholly from her and fell to the side. Lorcan gulped down as much air as he could before turning to wipe the hair from Elide's sweat-soaked face. Her eyes were half open, her lips quivered, and her body shook with pulses of remnant pleasure. Lorcan didn't seize her mouth, not while she was still so far gone. He satisfied himself with her neck, and rested a broad hand over her breast.

"Are you alright?" Lorcan panted as she stopped shaking. He hadn't rendered her unconscious, but he'd come damn close.

Elide just loosed a breathless laugh and reached over to grab his cock. Lorcan hissed- he was too sensitive so soon after such a strong climax. She didn't care. Elide started stroking him as she reached between her legs and swirled some of his escaping seed around her knot.

It was going to be a long night- and for once in his life, Lorcan wondered if he'd be able to keep up with the sheer hunger of someone newly awoken to the pleasures of flesh. He grinned savagely and bit at Elide's ear. If it broke his very soul, he would give her all she wanted and more.

* * *

They made love as the last traces of light left the sky.

When the moon reached its zenith, they stopped only long enough to share a few bites of the abandoned dessert and remove whatever pins still remained in Elide's hair.

In the darkness before dawn, Elide and Lorcan were finally spent.

He pulled her against his side as the phantom wisps of their last orgasms faded away. No playful energy burned through them now, only exhaustion. Elide's eyes grew heavy. Lorcan yawned.

She tried to say something snarky, but she couldn't think of anything beyond, "I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered against her head. Each breath was slow, deep. His declaration might have been sleep-talking.

Elide could feel the embrace of a dreamless rest claim him. It was seducing her mind as well. Except-

As much as she hated even the thought of moving, Elide was full. Too full to sleep comfortably.

She whimpered against the idea of leaving Lorcan's warmth, but forced herself to roll away and stand. His release- _releases_ \- shifted inside her. She couldn't sleep until she used the privy.

The last time Lorcan carried her into the bedroom- slung unceremoniously over his shoulder- he'd kicked the door closed. Elide grabbed her long-discarded gown and wrapped it around herself to save some of the body heat she was rapidly losing. The trip had to be quick, before her sweat-cool body froze entirely.

Elide skidded to a stop just outside her bedroom- a figure was hunched over the table, rapidly clearing away the last of the dinner food.

Lysandra froze- caught swapping the old meal for a platter of breakfast fruits and pastries. Rather than risk a servant walking in and overhearing Lorcan and Elide's passions, it seemed safer for a friend to rotate the food. She had no qualms about walking into the chambers, and though she (and the dead) had certainly heard their final joining, Lysandra was used to tuning out such sounds.

She set twin bottles of contraceptive brew on the table and raised her eyebrows in a silent question- _How was it_?

Elide's entire face scrunched as she tried desperately to keep from squealing and waking Lorcan up. She knew she looked like a happy idiot but didn't care one bit. Elide was _radiant_ with joy.

A wide grin spread across Lysandra's face and she mimicked Elide's expression- a quiet way to join her in celebration. Lysandra couldn't wait to get all the scandalous details- whenever the couple surfaced for air (which would turn out to be approximately two days later).

Not wanting to remain a moment too long, Lysandra finished gathering the cold food onto a cart as Elide hurried past her to the privy. By the time she was at the door, Lysandra was slipping out into the hallway. Elide saw something wedge itself in at the last moment and stopped to squint in the darkness. It kept the door pinned open- but only barely.

A low flame erupted around the object, illuminating Aelin's thumbs-up just enough for Elide to see. She couldn't suppress her laughter anymore, and heard it echoing down the halls as the females slipped away with the food cart.

It was going to be a long time before Elide's dopey grin faded.


End file.
